Here’s the deal. If you have any consternation about your ex managing money for your minor children, you need a will ASAP. You specifically need a will that has a testamentary trust in it (like oh say, a Really Good Will!!!) which is a fancy way of saying that the money will be held for your children and managed by someone of your choosing. It’s also implied then, that there will be distance between your ex and this money should something happen to you, and that might just make you rest a lot easier knowing that. It also means you can control just when your kids get access to the money, but that it can be used for their needs and expenses throughout their growing up.

In the absence of a will like this, the most common go-to for the court is to have the money held in a conservatorship which, any guesses who has priority to serve as the conservator of a minor child? That’s right, their parent…which if you’re dead…well, that only leaves your ex.

And in an effort to ensure that the money is managed correctly for those kiddos, the court keeps ongoing oversight of the funds, but often requires that the court approve every expenditure of funds or that the money just be put into a fund that grows and waits until the child is an adult and then can receive all those funds at once. None of these are the preferable route…a will helps ensure that the money you leave for your kids will be held in the way that is most beneficial, accessible, and tailored to their situation…oh yeah, and not at all accessible to your ex.