To start off, this article is premised on the idea that both legal parents of a child have died. If you are divorced and wanting to know more about who has priority to care for kids and manage money for them if you were to die see the articles here and here. For general knowledge on who has priority to serve as guardian after both parents of minor children die, read below.

Kids are unique. There’s no one size fits all approach that works for all kids. I have three kids, and I have to employ totally different approaches to raising each kiddo. Similarly, no extended family is the same. And because of that, the state of Utah doesn’t even have a priority list when it comes to who would have the right to parent your kids if you die or become incapacitated. The state of Utah really relies on parents telling them who that should be.

And do you know where you indicate that? In a will, that’s where!

And in the absence of a will, it’s a tiny bit of a free for all as to who would have guardianship rights. I mean, the volunteering care-taker has to show that it is in the best interests of the child/children that they be appointed as guardian, but it still relies on volunteers and consensus among family, and that can be a bit dicey sometimes.

In our case for example, I think it is very doubtful that had we not indicated that we wanted this particular person to be the guardian of our kids, that they would have ever volunteered, and not because they wouldn’t have done a great job or even that they wouldn’t have wanted to, but I doubt that they would have thought WE would have picked them.

So while it is really unlikely that you are gonna die young…on the off chance you do, it’s very smart to have a will primarily to make an indication as to who will take care of your kids after you die, plus all the other financial guidance and good stuff that will be in that will and make it easier to manage stuff for your surviving kiddos, but the biggest deal both in the short term and long term really, is probably who you select to be their guardian.

This decision is absolutely the hardest to make. The truth is, no one will parent your kids like you. Not totally. And facing that truth is just sucky and hard, but I always counsel my clients that they reflect on what values are most important to them and let that guide their guardian pick even if that means going outside of family!